Being in Professional Practice has really given me some insight into how I need to approach the business aspect of art...it scares me, but it's something I'd like to learn more about. After reading alot more work sites and browsing through more causal sites I've gotten a more solid idea on how far people are willing to go to get alot for nothing.

This nails it right on the head:

Boondock Saints 2: All saint's day
it's finally coming out!!!

watch it! RIGHT F**KING NOW!

The UP event was a total success! There were alot more people that came than we ever expected; it was close to a full house (Good thing we reserved 150!) I loved it. I had already seen it when the movie came out, but I was like choking up and crying like it was the fist time. One of our friends came "prepared" and had a box of kleenex with her. She was nice enough to give me a couple when she heard me sobbing, LOL!

I can't thank everyone enough for coming down and watching! It was one of the best MCAD events ever! Maybe I'm partial because we planned it, but it was still fun, LOL!

In other news, I'm super excited because some one bought a print of one of my illustrations at the gallery thing that I have at the Tea Garden. I have to make a print and get it to him, but I'm so stoked that someone liked my stuff enough to buy one! I get to put that on my resume, which it s double woot!

Well, I better get outta here. Stuff to do, homework to rush through, lol!

And when the hell is my comic going to getting here Chan!? *shakes fist* lol!

I got it! In my hands! And security's not tackling me down for it!

I can't wait to see it!!!

For those MCADians that are on my lj, you all need to be at 150 at 7:30pm tonight because we're gonna screen it! I can't wait to see it on the big screen again, lol!

Maybe it’s because I’ve been up for almost 3 days straight. It could also be because that I spent those two days in the animation studio in a steady panic because we were hit with the amazing news that it would be due Monday and not Thursday like we had originally thought. Or that on the day that I really wanted to be let out early so I could finish my illustration homework, we were let out at 4, and had to work at a madman’s pace to get that paper cut thing food piece done. Whatever the reason, I think this had to be the single worst day in all my going on 3 years being In this state and I owe it all to my advisor and his class. I’m not sure how vocal I have been about my troubles in my advanced animation class, but oh man….you’re gonna know now.

 

I’m sitting there half not even wanting to even bother going up to the class computer to show off my work anymore because I’m already knowing what’s going to become of it. Add that with the fact that ANY work that could’ve gone into senior project (or any other homework for that matter) was spent on getting that fucking animation collaboration video done and sent into the teacher to give to our client yesterday before 9am and…well I knew I wouldn’t get much done for the class. I tried though…I really tried. When we finished the video I crashed on the sofa near the media center for an hour and a half and then woke up and promptly went back to work on advanced. I had a good 5 seconds of nicely studied keys and a piece of roughly timed keyed with a quick voice over I did (I still can’t seem to get anyone together at the right times to do voices for me) but I thought I had something a bit more substantial in.

 

Still, I was nervous because I didn’t want to hear the same thing; it’s not enough movement, you’re story is too long, yadda yadda. But that class in particular was being graded on so I had to show in something. So I got up and showed off my stuff. I’m at the point now where I don’t know what to say about my work anymore because I never get any real critique on it so I just explained what I was trying to convey with the movement I had and showed my clips. He looks at them and says that I’m a quarter of the way into class and I haven’t even gotten a whole scene done. He says yet again that I’m not showing enough work and that doesn’t think that I’ll have anything substantial to show for my final.

 

I tried to defend myself. I said that I have scheduled myself more time to work on this during thanksgiving and holiday break just because I won’t have any obligations like having to attend class or during the holiday break, I won’t even have homework to worry about. I’m not sure if it was a mistake to say that I can’t go any faster than I am considering I have other homework to worry about. I’m taking a lot of time on my keys and construction because I want the characters to have personality and I want the movements to be much more fluid than what I’ve done before. Novak told me that everyone says that they’ll work on their stuff during the holidays but once it happens they want to decompress from class and visit people and it rarely comes to be. I should make a trailer or animate a small portion of this as a teaser. Or that I should make a 45 second version of this story so that I can catch myself up. He kept trying to make me see that I’m not getting very far and stuff…I know there was more stuff that he was saying but after awhile I was just nodding to get him to stop talking so that I could log off and go back to my seat. The whole time he’s talking to me I’m doing everything I can to keep from crying right in front of him.

 

Once it was done and go back to my seat, dee jay wheels up behind me and starts trying to give me pep talk. He’s real cute when he tries to make me feel better. I’ve got my hand over my face because I don’t want the class to know that I could not hold back the tears anymore and I’m bawling in my sleeves as my other classmates are showing off their work. I’m furious that I have to hear the same old fucking broken record everyday, that all the teacher wants me to do is shorten the story or drop it all together, that I can’t get it done. I get it, I’m slow. I’m much slower than the rest of the class. He’s making this whole project something I just don’t want to deal with. I don’t know what else I can do to shorten or condense the story anymore. Hell, if you’re comparing me to dee jay, I’ve got more animation to show per class than he does. Even he said that he was worried because all he had was a background and a loop to show during class. The teacher raved about it for a good half hour. I knew that was going to happen. I called Dee Jay on it this morning and I was totally right. I’m not trying to say that I don’t like Dee Jay’s work at all. I love what he’s got so far and despite the fact that he says he’s running behind, it’s all still looking quite nice. Novak sure as hell loves it; he eats it up every week.

 

The last time I cried this hard was when I first moved up here and had to say goodbye to my parents. I’m just at a complete and total loss as to what to do. I can’t sacrifice every waking minute to this class, and I’m making an honest effort to make this thing as fluid as I can. There’s no running or gags or anything comedic in my final. This whole thing needs to be sold on the characters and how they interact with one another. I can’t do that with limited animation, I can’t do that with a gag. I don’t want to make a trailer, I don’t want to animate a teaser I don’t want to rip cord the story. I want what my fucking story. The way I have it planned out. I’ve not heard one constructive piece of criticism since this class started and this constant thing of content and time and my ability to do it is really wearing on me…and it’s making me really hate this project. I don’t want to hate it. I loved it when I was conceptualizing it over the summer. I was honestly real eager to show it to class when we were doing the boards. That enthusiasm died shortly before October began.

 

When we got back home, Dee Jay gave me a hug and let me cry. In fact, I’m still crying. I just need to. I’m angry. I’m truly sincerely upset at Novak and that he insists on beating the shit out of me every Monday yet has nothing to say about what I do have. Fuck, you’re in this fucking industry and you deal with this shit on a daily basis, give me a fucking suggestion! Hell, even on our private meetings he doesn’t give me any constructive criticism. It’s all “well you have to do something” I almost always leave there with no real resolution or any new approach to my dilemma. I’m tired. I’m drained. I’ve not felt this unhappy in a long long time and I really want advice. And the one person who I thought I’d get it from can’t give me anything other than “it’s too long and you don’t have enough”.

           

Fuck you.

Another day that starts way to fucking early for me. This really stinks because I'd actually like to be in bed the same time that my husband is, lol. I guess it's not totally bad...I mean I get homework done which is productive. I just wish it was during normal working hours and not this "vampire/hooker" schedule that my friends have so endearingly called it.

I think I'm gonna post my links for my teacher and then force myself to call it a night. It's all quiet and dark and lonely and it's cold in here. And I want to cuddle.

So it's settled. The best way for us to make the most of our night when it comes to getting homework done is to drink 'till we're drunk (or tipsy) sleep some of it off, and we'll be up super early to get work knocked out.

At least, that's what it seems like...because there's no f***ing reason I should be up at 3 in the morning if there isn't homework to do! But now that there might be a workable system, we can go the the store and get some booze for cram sessions, LOL!

School's been hella rough, but it hasn't been horrible. The workload is insane (as it always is!) but only having 13 credit hours of it is MUCH more manageable than years past (when I was taking 18 credit hours) I'm having some serious trouble with my final animation because I'm still having trouble on how to end it and getting voice actors for it (also, it's finding the time to get people together for a session) and I'd really like to get the voicing done because animating to a track makes things 100 times easier. So, if anyone wants to volunteer to be part of my senior animation...send me an email!

This semester has also been spent trying to get our "identity" set up for when we graduate. I've actually been having fun trying to figure out how to represent myself. I had an interview with one of the workers at DesignWorks about this and I had told him that I'm having a real hard time trying to fit into a strictly media based branding. Animation is what I really love and want to do, but it's not the only thing I'm capable of doing. Maybe I just don't want to make up my mind. I just think that if i promote myself as just an animator I feel it might limit my customer base and where i can market myself at. There's no doubt that I want to make a living on animating, but I still want to draw and paint, and do printmaking and comics and use all that I've learned and love to do and incorporate that into my animations too. I might have to post up my concepts to see what others think about it.

It's just sort of neat that all this stuff that I'm doing is getting me geared for when I graduate. It's kind of weird because it all seems so final. It's creepy, but exciting!! I'm getting information gathered for festivals and film competitions, getting listings for museums and gallery showings...I'm being as serious and committed as I can be to get my bearings together so i can start getting my name out there. I'm even debating sending samples off to places to see what they might think, big or small. Stardust and Tatami come to mind, as well as white wolf inn (can't remember the actual name of it) and the comma gallery. There are some neat non profit galleries in MN too that I'm thinking about sending stuff off to as well...I just need to start doing something soon...

Ok, I'm babbling...I should either do some homework or try to go back to bed.
...Which means I'm gonna be doing homework...

I went to the movie to see 9 and I gotta say I'm really impressed! 9 was such an awesome personality, but I'm torn between him and the twins, 4 and 5 because they were little book nerds and were so 'effin cute! But I gotta say my hands down fav was 7, which was pretty much the ninja of the group..omg she was so friggin' bad ass! And Dee Jay was 5, without a doubt! It was really nice to just get out of the house and do something not related to school. It was also nice to go out and see a movie in a theater too, lol! Last movie we saw in a social setting was Coraline and the last movie we saw before that was...I think it was Hellboy 2. So yeah, needless to say, we don't go out much, lol!

On the way in the theater, I saw the poster for This is It. I'm not surprised that they'd put it out, I just didn't know it'd be this early. Last time I heard the family still needed some time to think about it, considering the circumstances...but I guess they gave it a go!

I went to see the trailer when I went home and saw the tribute that Janet did. I'm embarrassed that i still turn into a puddle of tears watching his stuff. Tickets are on sale sometime in the next 2 weeks and I'm totally buying them. This is the closest thing I'll ever get to seeing him in concert anyway, lol. I'll even skip class if I need to in order to get a good seat.

God I'm a loser...

Maybe it's me. Maybe because of all the labeling and all the words that have been made up to demean races and cultures I've become a little...awed when I see those words still being used. Maybe it's just me thinking too much into things or me not being open minded enough.

But still, how did NO ONE spot this and say that this might be a bit....offensive!?

http://ses.s-inc.com/e-shop/app

Anyone else as floored as I am!?

I'm just happy I had enough pieces to put together demo reel in the first place. I was worried that I might not have had enough stuff to make one.

But I wanted to show it off because it took me awhile to make it and I'm happy with the way it came out.
Hope it looks ok!

I got an email the other day saying that I had been awarded a studio space for this year, which I was totally stoked about, because as an animator, I kept hearing everyone say that we are automatically denied just because of what we do. Apparently, the school's assumption of us is that we just do everything on the computer and don't do much actual drawing anymore now that we have Cintiqs and stuff. So I was shocked seeing that I got accepted! I almost didn't know what to do with the space, but seeing as I had an illustration class, no room anymore in the house and a shit load of animating to do for my senior project (I'm one of the few that still draw on paper it seems, LOL) I went on down to academic services to see my space.

When I got there, I told the lady that I was here to see my space and she gave me a slip of paper that said "group Anim." with my name on it and told me to go to the third floor where the animation studio is to get a locker, at which point my face dropped. They gave me "access" to the fucking communal studio...that ANYONE can get into and if I wanted a locker there all I needed was a fucking lock. Not an application and a 3 month waiting period. So I told the lady that the whole reason for me applying for a space in the first place was because I wanted to use bookbinding and printmaking in my senior project and so that I could do my work in a safe place where I could leave my items in my space and not run the risk of them being stolen...you know, which would happen if I left it all in a SHARED space. She said she'd tell the guy that usually gives out the studio spaces, but it's been 2 days and I haven't gotten anything back yet. So I went and emailed him. Hopefully, I'll get something back. If not, I'm gonna have to start emailing anyone that will listen, because since I got here, I didn't think it was fair and now that I was this close to getting my own space, only for them to pull a fast one on me is friggin' ridiculous.

Sorry, I'm just really pissed is all.

In about 5 hours, I start my first day of my senior year!!

I'm super excited and super scared...I mean, dude, this is it. After this year, I don't have to go back to school at all if I don't want to. School will actually be an option. AAAANNNND I'll have a full fledged bachelor's degree in fine arts!! I can't wait...especially with the cool classes I'll be taking this semester:

I've got Advanced Animation, Animation Collaboration (I think I'll be working with Motown for this project!) Professional Practice, Tools of the Trade (another illustration class that focuses more on technique and application for ink, pastels, and water based paints) and SGMS (which will satisfy my last credit I need for humanities) Top that with RA'ing and I've got myself a whole lot of s**t on my plate. But man oh man, I'm excited!! Give me about 2 weeks though, I'll definitely have something to complain about!!

I can't believe that's all we have left...It's great that I've been able to spend time with my family and see them and stuff, but with homework and our families pulling each other in different directions, we haven't done anything that didn't involve school or work in some way. Seriously, the only things I've gone out for was to get gas and to go get school supplies and go to work. I honestly felt like we got stuck in the same trap we did when we were in MN and really pisses me off. Stuck in the house, on a seat, at a desk, looking out the window wishing I could go out and do something. There are alot of people that I've yet to see and I feel bad that I'll be missing them again.

Other than that, we've been trying to get an early lead on packing and getting things situated before we go. We got almost everything packed up, save for our immediate clothes, toiletries and art supplies. I'm glad that we'll at least be able to sleep a little better...we're normally up all night packing and it really puts a damper on the initial hike up north.

Meh....I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little emo...I just wanna see people and I have one day left. and it sucks.

I am now the proud owner of a 2005 chrysler PT Cruiser. It's going to take a bit of getting used to, but for the most part, I'm warming up to it. Ice cold A/C, good working breaks, clean interior and exterior, new tires, SUPER roomy, and not bad on gas either. I think the nicest feature is its size at the moment. Because we're always packing and unpacking stuff from moving so often, having that space is going to be real helpful, especially when we graduate.

I just feel a little, well...bad. I have an almost perfectly driveable Tiburon in the front yard and I can't drive it anymore because of the moron idiots at Travelers. I feel like how I do with my stuffed animals; that even though I know they're not alive, I can't help but think that they still might have feelings and I feel like I'm flatleaving the Tibby because of how it looks. I would hate to have my friends leave me because I had an injury and that's exactly how I feel with the Tibby. But I need a car!! 

I know I know I'll get over it...I'm still gonna miss the TIbby though. But the Cruiser is real nice. It's much more comfortable for Dee Jay too, which is a nice plus. He can now sit and move comfortably in the car now, so when we make that treck back he won't be so stiff, you know?

Honestly this car couldn't have come at a better time. I was really worried that we might have had to fly back up north and then there was the issue of how we were going to get everything up there without having to pay through the nose. Now I think I have enough room to bring what we brought with us on top of the other boxes we had to leave behind last year because of our lack of space in the Tibby. I'm glad that is less thing to worry about!

 I think I'm just gonna walk to where I need to get to from now on...

I got into an accident on the way to work last night.
I left early, so I could just take my time getting there. I normally do. I'm minding my own business and I hear this skid and crash. I look to my left and I see this blue car that looks almost totaled. Then I look a little farther to my left and I see the pick up that the blue car hit.

And it's coming straight for me.

Seriously, the only thing I could think of when I saw it was "*sigh*......crap."

The worst thing was, I wasn't even driving!! I was at a friggin STOP LIGHT! I considered reversing, but there wasn't enough time to see if there was anyone behind me, Plus, if I moved out the truck could've hit the car next to me, so it was better for everyone that I just stay there and take it.  From what the police had told me, the people that were driving the blue car had stolen it. The cops were going after them and they ran the red light illegally. When they did that, the hit the pick up that was driving my opposite way. They hit it so hard that it skidded from the very beginning of the intersection of east colonial up to the intersection on semoran, and into the third lane that I was at. It hit me so hard that both my airbags deployed and skidded me a good 40 or so feet back.

So I called my job to tell them that I may or may not be going to work that night because I needed to stay to answer questions and stuff. A couple hours later, they gave us the OK to go home, but we needed to tow the Tiburon home. I was so happy that my dad still had the tow truck, lol!

My car still runs miraculously, but I can't drive it because of the airbags. And the adjuster still needs to inspect the damage and stuff. This puts a big damper in how the heck we're going to get back to Minneapolis and of course, how I'm going to be getting around when Mom is out and Dee Jay is working. I hate not having a car, and I hate having to bum rides off of people...especially when I'm having to do overnights. blech.

I think I'm gonna take a nap before my online class and before work...my mother will be taking me to work tonight. I feel so bad, lol...

I was watching it on CNN hoping it wouldn't happen.
But it was confirmed that Michael Jackson died after being sent to the hospital for what seemed like cardiac arrest
Gawd...I mean, I know I'm not the only fan, but...I just can't believe it I grew up with his music. He was an amazing performer. and now he's gone. Like really gone....

Rest in Peace Michael. The world's lost someone really amazing.

School starts today and it's been off at a light speed pace. Already I have about 4 homeworks due tomorrow and wednesday. Both seem pretty interesting, but both demand more work and attention to detail because it's a summer class and they know if they don't enforce than no one will take the classes seriously.

Well, the break was nice while it lasted, lol! But I'm hoping that I can manage my time better now that i don't have so many other courses to worry about. In the meantime, I'm still jobless and looking for some form of employment. It just sucks because no one seems to be hiring and I'm even open for commissions, but there seems to be nothing at that end either.

I'm really worried because I have no idea how I'm going to pay my bills this month and it sucks. And to put more fuel to the fire, my laptop charger has gone out. It's ripping out at the wire and I'm trying to piece it together with masking tape and placing it just so so that it keeps a charge. I just don't have any funds at all to think about getting a new one...

Grrrr...there's just alot hitting me at once. And all in the morning for some reason, LOL.

Wish I had something cool to report, but at the same time no news is good news. It's been almost a week and I'm seriously enjoying all the lounging around I've been able to accomplish since I've been in Orlando. Which is great, I've been needing to get my hand to rest. My right hand has been hurting so bad this semester that I had to wrap it to keep it from moving several times to keep it from moving. Earlier in the semester, it actually helped. A couple days with it on and I was fine. Now it feels like it makes it worse. It's gotten to the point that it hurts to draw and write, type....heck I almost dropped a container of food because my hand couldn't support its weight. Quite frankly, I'm pretty scared, especially since I got summer school in a couple days and I'm going to be drawing and on the computer alot from that point on. I'd love to get checked out, but my insurance runs the end of may and that leaves me with no time to find a doctor. Looks like I'm going to have to upgrade from my ace bandage to an actual writs guard. Don't want to because it's more expensive but...bleh.

I missed the final JACON which upset me some. I wanted to hang out with friends and say goodbye to the first convention that I cosplayed in, got attacked in and sold art work in. I hope that everyone that attended had a great time! I'd like to at least attend one convention to sell stuff at before I leave. I'm not sure how that's gonna work unless someone really high up likes our stuff, lol! But it's nice to dream aint it?

I haven't been completely lazy though. I have getting started on some conceptualizing and sketching for my final project; I'll start posting them up partly to show off, and partly for a critique and criticism. I'm really looking forward to this project and I want this to be a serious, accomplished animation, so any opinion that anyone may have will be super helpful! I've been eyeing supplies to make my hardcover book (SO excited to do this!) and if this works out well, I'm gonna make myself a custom sketchbook. I've also been looking for a job and intership since I made it here. Dee Jay even commented that I just hit the ground running. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather not work (working 56 hours on art instead of retail has made me a little spoiled, lol) but bills need to be paid in a couple days and I need a paycheck. I've applied to several places in the past week, so now just doing more hunting and playing that dreaded waiting game. I hate that game.

Yeah....this roadtrip was one to remember. The whole thing started off with us at the end of our 48 hour moving day; it's almost midnight and Dee Jay, Monica and I are all in a 17' truck on our way back to mpls when we see not one, not two, but five deer. That's right, FIVE FRIGGIN' DEER. Dee Jay reacted well and swerved just enough to make them realize "Hey! There's a moving thing coming at us! I think we should move!) He did hit one of them though, but they all bolted out of there, so we don't know how bad it was. The dent they left on our truck was surprisingly minimal.

After that, we got a hotel for the night and then got up to eat breakfast with monica and then we headed off for the road. We made good progress but took a wrong turn somewhere in Illinois, but after we got through it, we made it through another couple states pretty easily. Since we didn't have money for a hotel, we just slept in rest areas. I think I did ok, but then again, I'm small enough to smoosh myself into tighter quarters. Dee Jay had a horrible time finding a sweet spot and I felt so sorry for that, lol.

Things actually were pretty cool up until we got to Orlando. We were greeted with  instantaneous rain (as in Welcome to Orlando, have some rain! WHOOSH!!) so bad that we could hardly see anything. Top that with a truck fire that was billowing thick black noxious smoke in front of us and we had ourselves in an awesomely annoying obstacle. When you see other trucks pulling off to the side of the road, you know it's bad. So we stopped, rested, got back on the road. Because of the rain, we had to make another trip. But thankfully, as of 5 am yesterday ,morning, we made it back to the sunshine state safe and sound.