First off, I'm tired as all hell, but completely relieved that today marks the first day of my very looooong deserved spring break. This day could'nt have gotten here any sooner, and I have a good feeling that this week is going to fly by, but I don't care. I need the days and besides the normal cleaning and homework, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of it anc catch up on sleeping in and doing a thing or two for me.

I'm a little looking forward to the next few weeks though, I start my final workshop after the break called soft sculpture. I'm real excited that get to start using my sewing machine (I need to learn how to use the thing though) but I'm hoping this will give me a little bit of understanding with fabric and textiles. It's got my head swimming, from re constructing my box of old T-shirts to making figures for stop motion, to making my own outfits, for myself and for cons and stuff.

And from that tangent I get an email from a local community (local now being in the twin cities) and I really want to join, but I remember how...not nice that type of community is in FL and well....I'm a little scared! Personally, there's never been a comment directed towards me, but I have been in enough cons/meets/panels that if you don't eat and breathe and live the stuff, you're not the right fit. I actually remember being at a panel in Orlando with a girl teaching some loli DIY stuff, and one of the people listening was the creator of the largest lolita community in LJ. One of her comments was one of dislike towards people that don't "get it right" and sort of looked down on the fact that people couldn't afford name brand stuff. This immeadately kept me from wanting to actively be part of that community. Couple that with my lack of knowledge of all the lolita ins and outs, and I make one very lousy noob.

I've drawn it, I've read about it, I love the frills, lace and little details. But for the longest I haven't been able to find a loli style that fits me. I think I just don't have the right body type all that pretty stuff. It makes me look....old. lol! I know there's punk and gothic lolita, and I figured that make a nice transition, but I don't know how traditional this mn community would be. There's also meet and greets that I think they do every so often but they (as well as any other community I'm assuming) expect the members to "dress" for the occasion and I don't want to be disrespectful by not looking appropriate. But I have NOTHING even remotely loli in my closet. I mean, I have bubble gum pink number that was donated to me by Meredith, but...*shudder* I do that beautiful outfit SUCH an injustice it's not even funny.

Is it stupid to say that all this even when I was in florida made me feel a little intimidated? I would love to do a little more, find out what part of it I fit into, but I'm about as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs (I heart Rogue)

Anyone have any ideas?

I can't believe spring break came and went the way it did! *sob*
Not that I'd done anything spectacular worth blogging about. Since Saturday, I've been going to bed at around 12, getting up between 12-2 in the afternoon, and taking walks outside. We'll go out on a whim, Dee Jay took me to the Utrecht art supply store downtown and I got some new ink pens and had a nice walk downtown. We also got some really yummy food at an asian supermarket in St. Paul. So, I need to go back to one of the closer ones here on Eat Street and stock up on pork buns, red bean mochi and lap cheong (chinese sweet sausages) which are soooo delicious it's not even funny. Slice those suckers up really nice and thin with some white rice...seriously, it's my new favorite breakfast.

I've done some homework (not as much as I should've been but whatever, it's spring break) but what's been killing me over and over that I've actually been working on since last week is my sound animation homework that was due...oh, LAST FRIDAY. Not that I wanted to bring it in late, it's just that I seem to have scanned in paper that Satan made I think. I spent days, weeks, storyboarding, character designing, looking at convincing run cycles and then putting the time into the drawing and getting good magazine clippings for the 2d pieces of it. The thing was working out well. Things were looking good and then I go to render it and...

it crashes.

Not only does it crash, it saves a bad copy of what I've done, and closes the AE program alltogether. I start it again, do it over, go to render it and CRASH again. It wouldn't bother me as much if it werent for the fact that it was crashing and dying and NOT letting me complete the thing for about 10 hours. I go to class as soon as I find out the teacher is there and I'm standing there looking at him, with my hair messed up, in my pajamas pretty much, with huge bags under my eyes because I've been working ALL NIGHT on trying to figure out why the damn thing wasn't working, just hoping for an answer to all my stress.

It's a sad day when your own teacher has no idea what you did wrong.

Thankfully, he told me that I seemed sincere enough in my dilemma and gave me the break to work on it. And did you know it's taken up till TODAY to actually find out that the solution to the thing that's been giving me all this grief and stress was a friggin' layer overlay problem. OMG I just about wanted to throw my computer out the window and switch my major to fine art studio. At least I don't have to worry about all this crap when I'm drawing and painting, lol.

I can't wait to get this thing done because I don't want to touch it anymore for the rest of my life, lol!

Other than that, things are great. I've forgotten about the luxury of nothing and how good it feels to be a part of it, lol! I know that I'm sort of dreading going back to school, but at least I've had almost 8 full days of rest and relaxation and recooperating from all the stress and pain from school lol! Now I think I'm ready to take on the last 6 weeks of school.

Can you believe it?? 6 more weeks!!! Whooo hooooo!!!!